Of Hogs, Geese, and Government
Two Letters, November 1788
Two Letters between two Friends; one about to cross the Atlantic, the other about to shoulder a Nation. I publish them here without Comment, but not unnoticed, as a small Time Capsule, because they beautifully demonstrate Trust through Candor, Humor through the transfer of foolish Livestock, and Duty through quiet Admission of Exhaustion and Care.
Gouverneur Morris to George Washington
Morrisania 12 Novr. 1788
Dear General,
After many unforseen Delays I am about shortly to take my Departure from Philadelphia for the Kingdom of France, and expect to visit both Holland and England. When I desire to be favored with your Commands it is not the mere ceremonious Form of Words which you every Day meet from every Man you meet, and which you know better than any Man to estimate at its true Value. Whether I can be useful to you in any Way I know not, but this I know, that you may command my best Endeavours and I now desist from farther Profession on that Subject because I am sure you know my sincerity.
You will oblige me by giving me Letters of Introduction to those Persons who may in your Opinion be useful to me and to whom you may think it proper to present me. Among others to Mr. Jefferson with whom I have only a slight Acquaintance. I believe I once mentioned to you my Wish not to be encumbered with the Letters introductory of the many who are prone to give them. I think them a kind of Paper Money which is not only of little Value but which is not always a reputable, tho perhaps a legal Tender. I solicit yours as an undoubted Bill of Exchange which is Gold wherever it goes. Permit me however to pursue the mercantile Phrase (or Metaphor) and honestly to request that you do not give me Credit for more than I am worth, lest proving a Bankrupt you be called on by my Creditors.
I will pray your Care of the enclosed to Col: Humphreys, who I doubt not is still with you, and will I expect come on with you in the Spring. I promised you some Chinese Piggs, a Promise which I can perform only by Halves, for my Boar being much addicted to Gallantry hung himself in Pursuit of mere common Sows, and his Consort to assuage her Melancholy (for what alas can hapless Widows do) took up with a Paramour of vulgar race, and thus her grunting Projeny have jowls and bellies less big by Half than their Dam. And to piece and patch the Matter as well as I may, in Company with the Piggs shall be sent a Pair of Chinese Geese, which are really the foolishest Geese I ever beheld, for they choose all Times for sitting but the Spring and one of them is now actually engaged in that Business.
It would be degrading to the noble Race of Man should I introduce Politics after Hogs and Geese. This is a tolerable Excuse for saying Nothing ; but the Truth is I have Nothing to say. I am of the Breed of Optimists and believe that all will go well, for you will certainly be seated in the Presidential Chair, and will I am certain when there greatly labor to prevent Things from going ill. As to the Rest, I heartily agree in the Text that the Wisdom of Man is Foolishness with God, having seen both Fools and Folly succeed in most surprising Manner. And the only Key to such sort of Success that ever I met with was in a sarcastic Remark on three old Lawyers of New York, Smith given to the Study of Divinity. Alexander deep in Mathematics, and Chambers deep in Nothing. Smith, said the Wag, is always in the Clouds, Alexander looses himself in Angles and Triangles ; the only sensible Man at the Bar is John Chambers for he talks Nonsense to a common Jury.
Present I pray you my sincere Respects to Mrs. Washington. It is my present Wish that neither she nor you may regret the Shades of Mount Vernon. But this is more my Wish than Expectation, as I do not believe it possible for you to be more happily placed, at least if I may judge from what I saw and what I felt. It is Time to say Adieu, having only Space to say I am Yours
Gouvr Morris
George Washington to Gouverneur Morris
Mount Vernon Novr. 28th 1788
Dear Sir
I had the pleasure to receive your letter of the 12th by the last Mail. — I am much obliged by your offer of executing commissions for me in Europe, and shall take the liberty of charging you with one only. — I wish to have a gold watch procured for my own use (not a small trifling, nor finical ornamented one) but a watch well executed in point of workmanship ; and about the size & kind of that which was procured by Mr. Jefferson for Mr. Madison (which was large & flat). — I imagine Mr. Jefferson can give you the best advice on the subject, as I am told this species of watches, which I have described, can be found cheaper & better fabricated in Paris than in London. — To defray the cost, I enclose a Bill for Twenty five Guins. on London, payable at sight. — Should the expence be greater (for I wish to have a good watch) I will take care to reimburse it to you. — Nothing more is required with the watch than a plain handsome key.
In comformity to your suggestion, I enclose to your care letters for the Count de Rochambeau, the Marquis de Chastellux1 the Marquis de La Fayette & Mr. Jefferson in France : To Lord Fairfax, Mr. Welch a Merchant of London & Mr. Arthur Young in England : and to the Baron de Van den Capellan & Mr. Mandrillen in Holland. — You must be sensible, that my acquaintances with persons in Europe must either have been formed while they were in this Country, or by literary communications — Though there are very many persons from whom I have casually received letters ; yet, I conceived that an acquaintance with some of them would not be desirable ; and that I had scarcely sufficient intimacy with others to send Letters of reccommendation to them. — As it is many years since I have seen the present Lord Fairfax, I have alluded to that circumstance in my letter to him. — The character & usefulness of Mr. Young, with whom I have corrisponded since the peace, you know perfectly well. — Mr. Mandrillen is a Merchant & a man of letters — he has written many things in favor of America and seems to be an enthusiast as to the prosperity of this Country. — The Baron Van den Capellan may, for ought I know (not having received a letter from him these four or five years) be in the Land of Spirits — where also a handsome introduction may not be amiss. — I could have addressed a line to Mr. Dumas, the former Agent of the United States at the Hague, but he is too much under a cloud to be of any utility too you. — In case your travels should extend to Ireland I have given a letter to Sir Edward Newenham. — But I apprehend you will have, for all places, as many as you can find occasion for. — I have delivered your letter to Colo. Humphreys, who writes by this conveyance & you will be pleased to accept my thanks for the exotic animals which you are mediating to send me. —
As to what you hint respecting myself, towards the close of your letter ; I have really but little leizure or inclination to enter on the discussion of a subject so unpleasant to me. — You may be persuaded in the first place ; that I hope the choice will not fall upon me — and, in the second ; that, if after all, a kind of inevitable necessity should impel me to a different fate, it will be time enough to yield to its impulse, when it can be no longer resisted. — Mrs. Washington joins me in wishes that you may have a prosperous voyage : and that, when your objects shall be accomplished, you may have an equally happy return to your friends. — You will always do me the justice to believe that I remain with sincere regard
Dear Sir
Your Most obedt. and affectionate Hble ServtGo: WASHINGTON
Notes:
Transcription from:
Davenport, Beatrix Cary. A Diary of the French Revolution by Gouverneur Morris 1752–1816, Minister to France during the Terror I. George G. Harrap & Co. Ltd., 1939. pp. xxxi–xxxv.